Dillustions of grandure

I'm going to be famous. I don't know in what capacity but I know that my name and the word superstar will be synonamous. There will be an E! true hollywood story about me. At thirty two I will be arrested on PCH for possession of a controlled substance, ten to one it's coke, and probably a hooker or 5. I'll appoligse and go into rehab then I'll come out sober and more mature, my image will shift and I will no longer be young crazy Jake but older refined Jacob. I'll move from the Aston Kutcher roles to the Vince Vaughn, Harrison Ford, and Sean Connery roles. Progess will be made.
My current problem is getting to from point A, where I sit today, to point B, my drug bender in 10 years. I can see many many steps along the way but actually getting there is sketchy. I see 28-29 being the year that I win awards, a peak in my career. 30 to 32 is the valley. It will undoubtedly be spurred by midlife crisis. It realy is a great story, I know my biography will be more saught after than Heidy Flises' Black book.
One of the more recent attempts at fame has let me to the idea of Country Music Superstardom. I shall follow in the foot steps of the greats like Tobey Keith, Kenny Chesney, and my favorite Jimmy Buffett. Now that the laughter has died down I suggest you read my country music Bio. I was born for this shit. I Scream country song! So, here goes.

Born and raised in Bakersfield, CA. Home of country superstar Buck Owens, cotton and just a stone throw from Johnny Cash's famous incarserate Folsom Prison.

Moved to Colorado at 15, the great American west. Home of Buffalo, Indians (native americans), and of course the Denver Broncos. I mean does CO scream country star or what?

My parents are divorced. Mom grew up in Atascadero, CA (good luck finding it, it's country, trust me). Dad was Born and raised in Bakersfield.

Grandparents imigrated to Arivn and the central Valley durring the Dust bowl. Weedpatch hwy, grapes of wrath, I don't think steinbeck could do a better job writing this story. Grandpa died when I was young but he served in the military, Grandma just moved back to Texas w/ her sister.

brother (zac, a good biblical name) lives in fuckin Kansas and wants to be in the Air Force. 'Nough said, yall.

My new step mom is from Nashville. It really is the heart of country music. It's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Graceland!

And thats just my family, lets take a closer look at my life.

Growing up I had a dog, a lab, a good huntin dog, she wasn't but the breed is.

I was once on the front page of the sports section in the Bakersfield Californian because my Dad let me ditch school for the opening day of dove season. People were outraged. Many came to my defense saying "it's better that he is spending time bonding w/ his Dad than doing drugs or what ever. It's a sick article.

I worked for my Dad when I was young. He was self employed, I chopped weeds, cleaned the shop, learned how to weld, was on location at countless farms, ranches and of course oil fields, god have I been to lots of oil fields.

How many times have I been to the kern county fair, I would say at least a hundred.

I learned to drive on my dad's pick-up truck, dulie, extended cab. It's about as big and truck like as you can get w/o having to call it a big rig.

My longest relationship has been w/ a girl from St. Louis.

I was a boyscout. For a long time too, I'm even in the Order of the Arrow. How american is that.

Crashed my car. Maybe this is a strech but every good country artist has a song about wreckin their vehicle.

now I sell car parts. working on cars to work my way through college, sounds pretty country to me.

Running this theroy past a number of people it was pointed out to me that there is one fatal flaw in my master plan. All country artists are God fearing. I have no fear of g(G)od. Currently not something that I'm exploring. However this works even more to my benifit when stated like this:

"I've got wild oats to sew and I know He'll forgive me in the end"

I'm going to keep updating this as I do more research. I know there was more when I first started thinkin about it but I was a lil' high and that helps me to forget these rants.

Blue Stasis

http://bluestasis.blogspot.com/

Steaming Pile

Steaming Pile

Hoe's hoe's every where

I'm sure I'm going to get in trouble with this fuckin blog at some point. Not this one specific but the concept in general. I'm going to forget about it and someone that I'm sleeping with is going to find in. Stupid google. Oh well, as for now I must confess my sins to the anomity of the internet and start the week with a clean soul. Yeah right, I'm braggin on some shit that I done. So I finally hooked up with Stacy. We haven't slept together yet but I'm sure it's going to happen, we will see. She's fun. As long as I can keep it like this then life will be good. If she tries to get serious or something I might have to push her down the stairs.
New neighbors all seem fun. We've started bringing the kitchen table outside and I filled up the BBQ tank. Much summer fun and drinkin is being done. Last night I made elk ka-bobs and mashed potatoes then followed it up with homemade chocolate and peanut-butter oreo icecream. Yeah it's over kill but man was it all good.
As for school, it's not lame, it's not awsome, it's just present. It's work. It's no longer a treat to go to school. Not that it's punishment, I just have to physically drag myself to class and then all my will power is used up just getting there and I have no intention of focusing. I just sit there, quietly absorbing. Giving blanks stares and responding on occasion with "si" or "no se." The only two useful things I know in spanish. I suppose depending on the situation the knowlage of alcohol ordeing procedure could be useful too. Thanks to my current spanish teacher "Se llama Brian Fraiser." I can aquire marijuana in any number of countries and in any variety of forms. "Chocolate" is slang for hash, usually in cig form, mixed with tobacco and sold on the street in Spain. "Porro" and "Poro" (I may have fucked this one up) are Joint and Blunt respectivly. One of these is a derivative of the word "pure" refering to the pure mixture that would be rolled up. He also puts lots of questions on the test about dope. For example "Who in the class *blank* marijuana?" The blank "vender" congigated to vende, spanish for to sell. So incase the logic of the last sentance has bypassed you the reader I'll rephrase. Oh our midterm, my instructor asked the class who sellls weed. Brilliant, it's the only way he can get us to relate to the material. It's pretty funny. Apparently he dosen't smoke but I'm sure that he has.

This blog is great. I'm trying to do it for a number of reasons. I like to type. Thats awsome. I like to type way more that I like to actually write. Sounds weird but I can barely read what I scrall when I write at the speed that I type and so much is lost when trying to decifer what I was thinking. Also, I can barely write any more. In high school, thanks to debate I could shit out a 10 page paper in a matter of hours and it would be good enough for a "b" if i put some effort into it would get an "a." Well, in collge, thanks to dance, I can barely write my name before I get tired, or bored, or drunk, or stoned, or whatever. So writing papers is a chore. If I start writing more then it will flow better when it has too. I'm useing this as a streching exercise before I have all my GE's durring the school year. Lots of great papers. Lol.

Finally, the last lil thing i need to get off my chest. I'm going to get A's this summer. I know thats not normally like me. Normally I don't care that much about grades. Normally that enough. This quarter is going to be different. I've got one class at a time and I can do this. I know I can. I need to do this. My GPA sucks. My fault, I'm totally accepting responsibility. I drink and smoke too much. I smoke WAY too much. I need to go back to my addage "all things in moderation." I have forgot the moderation part and I've just been consuming all things. Not good. I've cut back the weed, out of necessitiy. No smokin before class, minimal smoking before work, and lessish weed at night. Part of my problem is that ALL my friends smoke weed. Let me rephrase, all of my friend smoke weed professionally. Morning, noon, and night I can find someone smoking. This is a problem because it's harder to resist when it's built into your social life. More on this later. So I'm cutting back of vices, and focusing myslef on school. This will not doubt be a hard tast but I'm sure I can do it. I have to do it. I need better grades if I have any intention of going to a half way decent grad school. I need better grades so that my insurance will go down. I need better grades so that the piece of paper I get from the University is worth something, period.

Ok, thats a lot of rambling, i need to get some work done.